When the Tatar king met a Hottentot heiress,
their union together made the Tatar Tot princess.
Tho’ blessed with wealth, privilege and toys in profusion,
she suffered from pangs of ethnic confusion.
As she grew in stature and turned into a woman,
her search for a suitor was fraught with frustration.
She fell for a Xhosa, who seemed a good fit,
but it soon became clear, they just didn’t click.
A tall Hindu man offered a lot,
but his parents objected, for she had not a dot.
An Afrikaner was handsome and kind and adoring,
but much to her dismay, she found he was boering.
Memories from the Steppes came back to her father,
the King of the Tatars knew what was best for his daughter.
Wisdom of yore told him just what to do,
the husband of his daughter – must be a Jew!
So the Tatar Tot princess was dunked in the water,
she accepted the commandments and studied the Torah.
She moved to Jerusalem, to a frum neighborhood,
where she lit Sabbath candles and ate kosher food.
With the passage of time, her good name spread,
and her quest for a husband came to a head.
So if you encounter, in the Holy Land,
women whose buttocks are especially grand.
– Do not be alarmed, and do not scream,
for descendants of the princess are what you have seen!