While reading a news story about a substitute teacher’s bizarre behavior, I was reminded of my own high school experience, also involving a substitute teacher. As odd as Mr. Deutsch’s behavior, described in the above article, may have been, I like to think that my own story tops it.

It was my freshman year at Morningside High School in Inglewood, California. This school was 90% black, and a rough place to try to get an education. Staying alive was a more pressing priority. I’ve written about some of my experiences there previously.

I can’t remember which class it was, but it certainly had nothing to do with magic or paranormal phenomena. Nevertheless, our class (in which I was the only non-black) found itself with a rather peculiar substitute teacher one day. It was a young, white, new-age type woman. Maybe this woman had forgotten what our class was supposed to be about, or maybe she considered her own priorities more important.

At some point, she placed an object on a table and told us to be silent. She then instructed all of us to concentrate on the object – and, with the power of our minds, levitate it. That’s right. Our substitute teacher thought she could harness the mental power of 30 gangbangers, with their bitches and hos (and yours truly, of course), to raise an object into the air.

As I recall, I didn’t even try. The embarrassment I felt for her was almost painful – and even though I’ve always been an oddball myself, this was too much even for me.

In case you were wondering, the object remained motionless on the table.